Pam Watson – God sets the lonely in familiesGuest Posts
Psalm 68:5-6a ” A Father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…..”
When Josh asked me to write this blog my kneejerk reaction was fear and panic!! However, I am reading, “If You Want to Walk on Water You Have to Get Out of the Boat”, by John Ortberg – this is me getting out of the boat!
Many of us come from families which are far removed from the Christian ideal. Attempting to maintain relationships can be painful, difficult and cause great fear and anxiety. Going to visit parents, for example, is not something to look forward to but something to dread, particularly where there have been abusive relationships.
People who have not been in this situation may question why we don’t walk away (in some situations this may HAVE to happen for reasons of safety and well-being) but do you abandon your whole family and hurt them when they themselves have done nothing wrong and may also be victims?
Where possible it is important to work towards forgiveness and restoration. This can be a long process over many years and, although our family situations may not change, God can change us to deal differently with what confronts us. We can do in His strength what we cannot do by ourselves.
However, regardless of what our earthly family situation is, when we commit our lives to Christ He places us in a new Church family where we don’t need to feel afraid and where we can find love and acceptance with our brothers and sisters in Christ. That doesn’t mean that, as Christians, we always get things right and we do sometimes mess up – we are only human!! Although we sometimes get it wrong, God never gets things wrong and He is our “Daddy”, a loving Father who will never fail us in the way our earthly fathers may do/have done.
God as a loving Father can be a difficult concept to grasp for those with an abusive father and I know this has been a big struggle for some of us.
In terms of my own family relationship, I now have the relationship with them I always wanted. I look forward to seeing them and am storing up happy memories to replace the unhappy ones. it has taken many years to reach this place but I praise God that He changed me enough to allow this to happen.