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Waiting, Dating or Mating?

Waiting, Dating or Mating?

Weekly Posts


Malachi 2:15 “Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth”

Me and my older brother Jesse got married a month apart this year. One thing we always differed on was our perspective on ‘The One’. Where I believed that God has planned and purposed the right partner for each individual destined to be married, Jesse believed that it was very much our own decision and that we must fight for what we choose.

Really though there is truth in both arguments, as it is often futile to go round searching for ‘The One’, yet we must let God guide us into the right relationship if there is to be one. I believe in entering a relationship, both perspectives must be held, because as always a covenant is two-part: God and you.

The purpose of any relationship and marriage is not just the happiness and fulfillment of the couple, but actually the role of that relationship in God’s Kingdom. The Prophet Malachi says that the purpose of marriage and oneness is all about the offspring. The couple is one in flesh and spirit, therefore they create ‘fleshly offspring’ (children) and ‘spiritual offspring’. The ‘spiritual offspring’ is the purpose on that marriage, what they will accomplish together for the Kingdom of God. That’s why I believe there is ‘The One’ for each person destined to be married, because God has already pre-ordained his purpose for that marriage.

Because the purpose is planned, the person is planned!

Over the last few months, God has started to reveal the purpose of mine and Claire’s marriage as we start to build a life together for God. The purpose of dating for us was to make ourselves compatible and able to work together. I believe the purpose of dating is for God to work in the relationship, and the purpose of marriage is for God to work with the relationship.

It is because of this disunity and incompatibility at the start of the relationship, why it is futile to go round searching for ‘The One’. Even if you had grown up with the person you wouldn’t know it! That’s because our perspective of who is the right one is completely different to God’s. The trouble is people go round with a check list looking for a person who’s got it all together, but the trouble is…they don’t exist. Therefore you must be open-hearted for who God wants to bring into your life, until you learn how He has purposed the relationship. Most of the time anyway, God does not guide through voices from Heaven but reveals the true desires he has placed in your Spirit.

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